I am a girl. A girl who has always lived in a
metropolis environment, who has had the free reign to gain an education I
aspired to have. A girl who has had the fortune to be a born into a fairly accepting
and open minded family, where I had certain rules to follow but was allowed to
be the person I wanted to be. A girl who has not seen the women of her family
clad from head to toe but instead dressed as one felt comfortable, who has kept
traditional wear as something associated with functions and festivals. A girl
who has grown up in an environment where moderation is key but having a drink
isn’t a crime, where the occasional glass of wine or bottle of beer has been
favored by most.
I am a girl. A girl who has been allowed to have
friends who are boys, who I have grown up playing sports with, who I have
extensively used public transport with. A girl who was told very early on that
a driver and car isn’t at her disposable and to learn how to use the local
train as a daily mode of transport, to use the rickshaws and taxi’s whenever it
was needed. A girl who is allowed to stay out late at night just as long as the
parents know where I am headed and have given a time I will be back, who is
allowed to travel by herself without a person maneuvering her every move.
I am a girl. A girl who has had the opportunity to
live in a foreign land all by herself, who has taken care of rent, utilities,
groceries and everything else in between. A girl who has grown up knowing that
while bad people exist out there, the world is primarily made up of people like
you and me. A girl who has always thought that if I keep to myself and be my
own person it is my right and another has no business in it. A girl who has
been allowed the same privileges her brother has, who has been given the same
upbringing and who is allowed to choose a career that she deemed fit for
herself.
I am a girl. A girl who is suddenly realizing that
all her life she lived in a myth, was lied to and nothing is really as it
seems. A girl who is now told that if she wears a sleeveless top or a short
skirt she is propositioning herself, asking to be raped or molested or looked
at by a random eye. A girl who is learning that just because I go out to the bar,
or hold a drink, I am giving permission to all the men present there to have a
roving eye because they apparently are unable to hold their testosterone or
alcohol. A girl who is now aware that having guys as friends or being in a
relationship with someone means that she is an open invitation to all the boys
she hangs out with because if you are for one, apparently you are for all.
I am a girl. A girl who now fears opening the
newspaper for being told another woman was stabbed to death because someone else’s
husband thought his wife was cheating on him. A girl who is getting aware of
the reality that if she breaks up with someone the guy might come by and throw
acid on her face. A girl who is scared to walk the streets at night for she
doesn’t know from where a group of guys may pounce on her and treat her as
their treasured prey. A girl who worries writing her thoughts on a social
networking site for she doesn’t know who is monitoring it anymore. A girl whose
parents now worry when she leaves home and are worried till she is back in her
room at night.
I am girl. And apparently that gives you the right to
pass lewd remarks, to be crude, to stare, and to maybe even molest me or rape
me if you think I am sending such a signal to you.
I am girl and I don’t know what that means anymore…
Maybe you do?
9 comments:
very true what happened to the 23 year old that was gang raped was horrible those heartless beasts should burn in hell..why couldn't n e 1 stop them how can we just stand there and see this sin happen justice needs to be given action needs to be done lovely post
Very well said..!!!
I'm copying this on my facebook..
m a girl n i really donno wat it means now ... M sumwhr in b/w d reality n d fantasy wrld
Very well written. I totally agree with you. Being a girl I really don't know what that means anymore. It clearly does not mean anything to the world we live in now!
I can't say I know what this means, but I do know that I hate it knowing that you (and every other girl) is in danger. Very well written. I just hope things improve. Till then, come to New York :)
Nicely written and well expressed!
I am a mother and I know that if my daughter takes a male friend with her out at night for safety that the world out there takes it to mean something else, the friend cannot guarantee her safety anymore.
You have said what many are thinking. It is time for things to change, to deter such violence against anyone happening again...especially if you are a woman.
I absolutely second this...... and like Rohan, I cant fake understanding the turmoil and conflict that such occurences reinstate and reinforce, but I whole-heartedly feel insecure about the plight of the women I know and don't. And the most unnerving thintg about this, is that no amount of social campaigning and/or even capital punishment will undo what has happened, or prevent similar incidents, in my opinion. A great piece, nevertheless!
Reading it sent a chill down my nerves. I felt as if I am reading my own thoughts through your words.Our upbringing was such that we were always protected from the stark realities of the world in that safe cocoon. But today, when we are taking the baby-steps in the ‘adulthood’, it all seems like some cruel joke.
We can’t be ourselves because we are always under the scanner of the prying eyes of the judgemental, so-called “Modern-society”. And they are just too quick to pass verdict on our character for our every single act, every single bold step, just because we are girls. But somehow, we just get immune to all this unfairness.
But the cancer of this unfairness has reached the heights with the sickening Delhi incident. However, in the national outrage against it, we see men standing shoulder to shoulder with women in this fight for justice. Even here, we can see more likes, shares and comments by guys than girls. This goes on to show that, this situation is NOT a Man v/s Woman scenario. If this is a fight for the dignity of a woman, it is equally a fight for the dignity of those men who are being called “terrorist” for their only fault of belonging to a “country” that has gained notoriety as being “the producer of the largest number of terrorists”.
The root cause for this cancerous tumour is not their physical gratification. It has a psychological basis instead. Those cowards treat women like some toy for their entertainment or some means to pamper their bruised ego. But this reflects their inferiority complex, their weaknesses and their desperate attempts to keep up their false pride.
Today she is fighting between life and death. And I feel, in a way, she is blessed because she doesn’t have to face the mental trauma that the society is going to throw her to, which is much more tormenting than the actual physical act. Her name is not revealed- we robbed her of the very dignity of her own name. Now onwards, her life is never going to be normal again. The society will not see her for what she is. She will just be a ‘rape-victim’ to all of us. She might succeed in forgetting that incident as some nightmare, but in the disguise of our “sympathy” to her, we’ll be making her die a thousand deaths everyday!! This way, are we all not being a part of that psychological crime too?? And if this is what she’ll have to face, I pray to Almighty to take her life!!
Come on people, she is just a patient of “Rabies” who happened to be bitten by dastardly mongrels. A patient needs empathy, not sympathy!!
Can we receive her as a National Hero? - She has fought no less a battle than any soldier. And she has sacrificed something more precious than her life. Can we honour her with a Bravery Award? Can we promise her a society that is a better place to live because of her, because of the sacrifice she made? Can we give her back the dignity of her name back that shall be entered in annals as a turning point in history? – A name that is taken in all pride and not thrown into the dooms of the anonymity. This is how we need to treat this psychological tumour of society- by changing the view-point through which we see ‘Rape’. She has already gone through a lot!! Let us help her pull out of this.
If we can do this, we are promising her her dignity!! More than safety, more than justice, more than anything else, it is all what the entire fight is about – Dignity!! . . . Her Dignity!! . . . Our Dignity!! . . . I pray for her speedy recovery . . .
And sorry, I forgot to mention what the management of “Rabies” says about the “Rabid Dogs”- Find them, KILL them!!!
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